It’s frustrating when nobody understands you despite having the most accurate explanation.

For years, I struggled to explain what I do as a product manager in social settings. Whether it’s family, friends, or other professionals, I’d get nervous when they ask: “So what do you actually do?”. I’d try to sound impressive by cramming in as much detail as possible.

I’d throw out Agile/Scrum buzzwords like: “Outcomes over outputs” or “Leading without authority”.

The result?

People stared at me with blank faces. Maybe a polite nod. Or that frowning-thinking look that screams: “What are you even saying?”

And it didn’t stop at parties—this happened when:

• Pitching ideas
• Getting buy-in
• Promoting my products

When you overcomplicate your explanation, people get confused.

Not only will your brilliant ideas get ignored, but you’ll also face these other issues:

• Perception of Elitism: You risk coming across as pretentious (even if you’re not!), which can repel potential customers or clients who feel you’re not relatable. People want to be reassured that you truly understand their problems.
• Lack of Trust: Complex language backfires. Instead of feeling confident in your solution, people hesitate. If they don’t trust you, they won’t move forward.
• Decreased Action-Taking: When your message isn’t clear, people don’t know what to do next. Fewer clicks. Fewer replies. Fewer sales.

The Reason This Happens

It’s not your fault for sounding smart (because you are!).

But most experts fall for “the curse of knowledge”. Basically you forgot what it’s like to NOT be an expert. You expect your audience to already understand certain concepts—so you skip the explanations they actually need.

No wonder people struggle to keep up.

And there are other reasons why you sound too smart:

• Fear of Sounding Dumb: You over-explain to avoid sounding basic. But polished, scholarly language can feel cold and hard to digest. When’s the last time you were eager to read a PhD thesis on a Sunday afternoon?
• Jargon Overload: You’re using industry terms or technical language that leaves your audience feeling lost.
• Complex Sentences: We were taught at school to hit a certain word count, so we add unnecessary fluff to our message. But long, winding sentences make it hard for people to follow your point. Size does matter in this case.

How to Fix It

Some people get offended by the saying, “Explain it like I’m 5”.

They think they’ll disrespect their audience by dumbing things down. But the real disrespect is wasting everyone’s time. If you’re struggling with the “explain it like I’m 5” mindset, try reframing it as “explain, don’t impress”.

The goal isn’t to look smart.

The goal is to make your audience feel smart—because they finally understand.

Here are other ways to apply the “explain it like I’m 5” mindset:

1. Use simple language

It’s ironic how back in school you get points for making your writing harder to read.

You were encouraged to use fancy words like:

• “utilize” instead of “use”
• “commence” instead of “start”
• “ascertain” instead of “find out”

Sure, your writing will seem more sophisticated, but it’s not practical and less people will understand it.

That’s why Warren Buffet is famous for writing easy-to-read shareholder letters that even high school students can understand. He’s mastered the art of explaining complex topics in a simple way. He’s earned trust without trying to impress.

Always remember the golden rule of copywriting: “It’s better to be clear than clever”.

Pro tip: You can use Hemmingway app to check on your writing’s readability levels (the lower the number, the better).

2. Use analogies:

The fastest way to earn trust is to make people feel like they connected the dots themselves.

Analogies are like mental shortcuts. When you compare complex ideas to everyday objects or scenarios, people can connect the dots instantly. It’s much easier to relate to something familiar, even if it’s not a perfect match.

Here’s an example:

Technical debt is like credit card debt. When you implement quick fixes instead of proper solutions, you accumulate “interest” in the form of extra work needed later. The longer you delay addressing it, the more costly and difficult it becomes to fix.

BTW I have a confession to make.

I don’t always toot my own horn, but after I shared this tip with my engineering manager, he immediately became a rockstar. His analogies would save us hours of explaining technical concepts so we could focus on problem solving instead. Everyone wanted to work with him!

So don’t use this if you don’t want any attention 😛

3. Trim out the fluff

Back in school, it was common for assignments to have a minimum word count requirement.

In the end, students would:

• Add more fluff
• Use double spacing
• Drag out their sentences with filler words

But we live in a busy world where we’re being bombarded by notifications and an endless sea of content.

Time is finite.

Your message should be as long as it needs to be or as long as you can keep it interesting for the reader (just like this).

The Takeaway:

When you simplify your message, you make your audience feel smart—and when they feel smart, they’re more likely to trust and remember your story.

So next time you’re crafting an explanation, remember: explain, don’t impress.

P.S. I’m working on something special—a course on storytelling for people in tech. To make sure it’s as useful as possible, I’d love your input!

Looking for something else? Reply and let me know!

Adam